It has been over a year since my last post! Hard to believe. But what is even harder to believe is that the 3 year anniversary of the day my girls came to live with us is just around the corner! On the other hand it seems like they have always been there. It has been an amazing journey watching them grow! They have flourished in the last 3 years. Our oldest who was severally speech delayed when she came to us, is now reading and getting in trouble for talking too much at school. Our 3 year old is constantly impressing people with her vocabulary, and just about has writing her name down pat. (Still working on the "Y") They are respectful, kind, and extremely caring. My 3 year old started crying that I killed a cockroach the other day, because his family will be looking for him. The girls truly love each other. They play so well together. Not to say they never fight. That is a daily occurrence, but what siblings don't fight. But when one of them gets hurt, the other always comforts them. When the 3 year old is having trouble getting her socks on right, her sister helps her. When they are getting a snack, they always get some for the other one. It is truly a honor and joy, and I truly feel a privilege, to be their father.
I don't say all this to brag about what a great parenting job we have done. (Though I think we have done a pretty damn good job if I say so myself!) I think the true wisdom in all this is that if you follow the training we have gotten from our agency, but even more importantly from the bible, it is possible to raise kids that are respectful, kind, caring, and a joy to be around. We have never babied the girls. We have given them tons of love, but expected them to follow directions, be obedient, and use their manners. We have given them privileges when they earn them, and removed them when they earn that too. We have taught them right from wrong. We have taught them that it is better to put others before yourself. I find that so many parents these days think that discipline is stifling their child. They let their kids do whatever they want, and then wonder why they act like little brats. Kids want limits and direction, they just don't realize that they want it. They need that direction. They crave it. I am not saying to be a controlling dictator. I am not saying that they cannot have any fun. Discipline doesn't have to be a spanking or even a time out. Kids understand a lot more than we give them credit for. Talk to them. Explain to them what is expected. Tell them why what they did was wrong, or even better, what they did was right. Explain to them the consequences of their actions. Teach them to think before they act. They grow up so fast! Take the time to talk to them. Take the time to listen to them. They will tell you a lot more than you think they are if you really listening. Listen while they are playing. They will repeat the lessons you have taught them to their dolls. They will also imitate the bad things you say or the bad example you may set, so be careful and think before you act too. One of the other big tools I have learned is to apologize when you make a mistake. I have a quick temper. I know it and constantly work on it. Anytime I get too angry with them and yell too much, I always apologize. They immediately give me a hug afterward. For them to learn that Mommy and Daddy make mistakes too but will apologize when they are wrong, is a huge lesson. It teaches them to apologize, but it also teaches them not to expect perfection out of themselves or others.
I feel like this post is a bit rambling. I started out talking about our upcoming 3 year anniversary and somehow launched into a diatribe about raising kids. I guess having worked in retail for the last 8 months and watched so many parents come into our store with their kids running wild, climbing on tables, fighting, throwing insane fits, being completely disrespectful of their parents as well as other adults, has really made me realize how little parenting is really being done. It makes me sad to see these kids getting so little direction. And then I deal with entitled adults who think the world is here to serve them and I know they were never taught reality as a kid. This makes me dread the future when the kids we see running wild today become adults!
Time flies by so fast! Don't waste it! I have spent the last 8 months trying to do the best I could with a terrible schedule. I am happy to say that Friday will be my last day. Starting Friday night I will be home evening and weekends from her on out. I have missed my family a lot over these last few months. So never take for granted the time you have with your loved ones. Make the most of that time. Be present and attentive. Be the person you want your kids to be!
PS. I am going to be trying to write here again. I hope this is of some interest or use to you.
I don't say all this to brag about what a great parenting job we have done. (Though I think we have done a pretty damn good job if I say so myself!) I think the true wisdom in all this is that if you follow the training we have gotten from our agency, but even more importantly from the bible, it is possible to raise kids that are respectful, kind, caring, and a joy to be around. We have never babied the girls. We have given them tons of love, but expected them to follow directions, be obedient, and use their manners. We have given them privileges when they earn them, and removed them when they earn that too. We have taught them right from wrong. We have taught them that it is better to put others before yourself. I find that so many parents these days think that discipline is stifling their child. They let their kids do whatever they want, and then wonder why they act like little brats. Kids want limits and direction, they just don't realize that they want it. They need that direction. They crave it. I am not saying to be a controlling dictator. I am not saying that they cannot have any fun. Discipline doesn't have to be a spanking or even a time out. Kids understand a lot more than we give them credit for. Talk to them. Explain to them what is expected. Tell them why what they did was wrong, or even better, what they did was right. Explain to them the consequences of their actions. Teach them to think before they act. They grow up so fast! Take the time to talk to them. Take the time to listen to them. They will tell you a lot more than you think they are if you really listening. Listen while they are playing. They will repeat the lessons you have taught them to their dolls. They will also imitate the bad things you say or the bad example you may set, so be careful and think before you act too. One of the other big tools I have learned is to apologize when you make a mistake. I have a quick temper. I know it and constantly work on it. Anytime I get too angry with them and yell too much, I always apologize. They immediately give me a hug afterward. For them to learn that Mommy and Daddy make mistakes too but will apologize when they are wrong, is a huge lesson. It teaches them to apologize, but it also teaches them not to expect perfection out of themselves or others.
I feel like this post is a bit rambling. I started out talking about our upcoming 3 year anniversary and somehow launched into a diatribe about raising kids. I guess having worked in retail for the last 8 months and watched so many parents come into our store with their kids running wild, climbing on tables, fighting, throwing insane fits, being completely disrespectful of their parents as well as other adults, has really made me realize how little parenting is really being done. It makes me sad to see these kids getting so little direction. And then I deal with entitled adults who think the world is here to serve them and I know they were never taught reality as a kid. This makes me dread the future when the kids we see running wild today become adults!
Time flies by so fast! Don't waste it! I have spent the last 8 months trying to do the best I could with a terrible schedule. I am happy to say that Friday will be my last day. Starting Friday night I will be home evening and weekends from her on out. I have missed my family a lot over these last few months. So never take for granted the time you have with your loved ones. Make the most of that time. Be present and attentive. Be the person you want your kids to be!
PS. I am going to be trying to write here again. I hope this is of some interest or use to you.
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