So last week I posted a list of funny things the kids have said. I have also been keeping a list of weird sentences we find coming out of our mouths. A few of these were submitted by friends, but most of these were ours. Enjoy!
We don't throw fits on the potty.
Don't put the pencil sharpener on you sister's toe... I don't care if it fits!
No! We don't eat gel.
I was inspired by Snow White.
Put the dishes back in the kitchen. You can use them to cook, not as skateboards.
Yes you can make a salad with the paper towels.
You can't say "no" to someone who's not here. They can't hear you.
No chewing on your sister's skunk.
Pick up your balls girls.
Everyone has nose hairs.
Were in a gazebo not a canoe.
Because we don't have a spaceship.
They're not balls, they're breasts.
Books are not vacuum cleaners.
Don't chase your sister with your hot dog in your mouth.
Is it cold? That's because it's ice.
You can't eat your Cheerios if you're playing with your rock.
She Tinker-fied me.
You just hit mommy in the head with your fork!
The last straw was when you licked the soap.
But thats not your pocket that's your zipper.
Cucumbers can't walk.
Don't sit on the dirty diapers. That's poopy!
Knives don't go on your head!
It's refried beans not free beans.
We don't lick people. That's gross!
Shoes are not food!
What did he do? He tried to bite her lamb?
You ate my owie? How'd that taste?
Be careful! Don't bite your fingers!
Put your skunk and monkey away.
No spitting in the car!
Just stop thinking about spit!
We don't gargle our hot chocolate!
No gargling in the car.
"But/butt" has more than one meaning.
She can't. She has her hippos in her hands.
Panties don't go in your mouth.
Stop! Don't ever lick an escalator.
Stop licking the furniture!
No, the gum under the table is not your surprise treat.
You can't pee in the yard. We don't live in the country anymore.
Stop flicking my nipple son.
Stop rubbing your food on me.
We don't throw fits on the potty.
Don't put the pencil sharpener on you sister's toe... I don't care if it fits!
No! We don't eat gel.
I was inspired by Snow White.
Put the dishes back in the kitchen. You can use them to cook, not as skateboards.
Yes you can make a salad with the paper towels.
You can't say "no" to someone who's not here. They can't hear you.
No chewing on your sister's skunk.
Pick up your balls girls.
Everyone has nose hairs.
Were in a gazebo not a canoe.
Because we don't have a spaceship.
They're not balls, they're breasts.
Books are not vacuum cleaners.
Don't chase your sister with your hot dog in your mouth.
Is it cold? That's because it's ice.
You can't eat your Cheerios if you're playing with your rock.
She Tinker-fied me.
You just hit mommy in the head with your fork!
The last straw was when you licked the soap.
But thats not your pocket that's your zipper.
Cucumbers can't walk.
Don't sit on the dirty diapers. That's poopy!
Knives don't go on your head!
It's refried beans not free beans.
We don't lick people. That's gross!
Shoes are not food!
What did he do? He tried to bite her lamb?
You ate my owie? How'd that taste?
Be careful! Don't bite your fingers!
Put your skunk and monkey away.
No spitting in the car!
Just stop thinking about spit!
We don't gargle our hot chocolate!
No gargling in the car.
"But/butt" has more than one meaning.
She can't. She has her hippos in her hands.
Panties don't go in your mouth.
Stop! Don't ever lick an escalator.
Stop licking the furniture!
No, the gum under the table is not your surprise treat.
You can't pee in the yard. We don't live in the country anymore.
Stop flicking my nipple son.
Stop rubbing your food on me.
These were awesomely hilarious! It would be hard to choose a favorite. They DO think about spit a lot, don't they? ;)
ReplyDeleteHey, "stop licking the furniture" is mine, lol. That boy of mine had some issues!
ReplyDelete