The Legal System

What can I say about the legal system?  Oh yeah, it sucks!  Obviously this world is screwed up, just for the fact that there has to be a system in place to protect kids.  However, the sad reality is that the system is set up so that the first priority is that the state doesn't get sued, and the second priority is helping the kids.  Lawmakers have tied the hands of CPS workers so much that it makes them very hard for them to do their job.  There continues to be new legislation brought up to make it more and more difficult to terminate parental rights.  Recently in our state they considered making the waiting period after termination of parental rights 120 days from the current 90.  All this would really accomplish is keeping kids in the system longer and keep families from being able to adopt sooner.  I guess from my perspective it is pretty hard to have sympathy for a parent that is neglecting, or even worse, abusing their children.  But the law protects them quite a bit.  Some of it is understandable.  There have to be some safety valves in place in case of false accusations, mistaken identities, or a parent who had a really bad day and has since gotten their act straight.  The problem is that those kind of cases are definitely the minority.  Through our year and half plus time of dealing with the system, we were in court at least every 3 months.  Each time there were multiple cases on the docket that we would listen to while waiting for ours to be called.  Not once did I see a parent who was truly doing everything they could to get their children back.  There were some who were making a half-hearted attempt while claiming to love their kids.  There were others doing nothing other than claiming to love them.  Most would skip drug tests, court ordered classes, and one even shaved his head to avoid a hair sample being taken for a drug test. If you truly loved your kids wouldn't you do everything you possibly could to get clean or get your act together to get them back?

Our case was a little different than most, in that we had very little effort being put forth by the actual parents, but it was other relatives that were trying to get custody.  The problem for them was they were completely unfit as well.  Without going into too much detail, they put on a pretty good front for a while, and even had some of those involved in the decision making process fooled for a bit.  But you can only hide your true self for so long, and eventually they exposed themselves.  We came to a point after a little over a year where we thought it was all over, to only have another legal snafu come up that delayed us another 5 months.  The infuriating thing was that the little "snafu" should never have been allowed in the first place.  Fortunately for us the end result was total joy!  Not all Foster/Adopt parents are so lucky.

My final statement on going through this system to adopt is this: There is probably no harder route to take to have kids, but the rewards are greater that anything I can imagine.  To know that we have taken 2 beautiful little lives and given them opportunities they would never have had otherwise, is almost overwhelming.  I would not recommend this route to everyone.  But, if you have the desire, and feel you have what it takes to get through the emotional roller coaster, I encourage you to prayerfully consider it.